super fire trouper

musically, i was raised on ABBA. literally. ABBA and john denver, with a little bit of linda rondstadt and kenny rogers thrown in for good measure, until i was old enough to afford my own music (david bowie in gigantic measures) in my pre-teen years. until then, though, i was at the mercy of my parents' (well, my mother's, mostly) musical whims, which were summed up in a neat little package of a few, very accessible folk-disco-country artists, whose popularity seemed to stem from ski bunnies and ski-bunny-wannabes wearing stretch pants and furry boots in the late-'70s.

one of my favorite (though hard to accept) memories is of my gorgeous mother, with long, platinum blonde hair, dressed in her apres-ski outfit, drinking a beer at the fireplace: black turtleneck, skin-tight, black ski pants, and huge, ostentatious, real-fur boots. she looked like a james bond girl, but dammit - she was my mom! these are the things you bring to therapy, i suppose.

now i'm old and i've come to (almost) fully accept the joy and wonder of having this scandanavian-folk hipness ground into my cellular memory as much as breakfast of cheerios with white sugar sprinkled on top.

we went to aspen every year (i learned to ski when i was four) and the memories are overwhelmingly amazing. if you could ask me to sum up my childhood years, i'd have to do it in seasons: spring and fall (school); summer (tennis camp); and winter (ski school).

aspen, john denver, and ABBA ~ they were like my childhood nannies.

i've always had a soft spot in my heart for the sweet, swedish melodies of frida, agnetha, benny, and bjorn. one winter in aspen, i fried my eyelids with sunburn (wasn't wearing goggles, ouch!) and had to spend the entire week on the couch with a wet washcloth over my face. for the entire time, i listened to ABBA's "super trouper" on my mom's walkman cassette player - and believe me, i learned to love that album intimately. i believe even to this day that my subconsciousness was imbued with deep appreciation and understanding for ABBA in a way that few people or fans ever get to experience.

the song "super trouper" became a kind of motto for me to heal, to believe and have faith that things could get better - it became a symbol for me to remember my own priorities in life and to always live a life that i believed in, no matter what the circumstances. (pretty big stuff for a 7-year-old, yes, but i was precocious.)

so, what a sweet and totally unexpected surprise when i decided last night to youtube the song itself - "super trouper" - only to discover that the video for the song is filled with fire dancers and stiltwalkers! it's almost as if i ran across this video when i was 7 and remembered the wonderful message within but only *subconsciously* remembered the ways that i could make the dream come true.

yes, that may be over-dramaticizing it all, but in sum: it's a song that changed my life and my perspective on life when i was 7 years old... 26 years later, at a real crossroads/juncture/interesting time in my life where i'm dealing with a lot of existential and practical, what-the-fuck-type questions, i run across the song again, and it's featuring, well, ME in various forms!

i don't really know what to make of it, so i'm deciding not to trip out... but just to enjoy the funny factor and maybe the deeper answers will come later. for now, enjoy the video!